Brain Overdrive

These are the thoughts that plaque me in the middle of the night. I really need help.

I love the smell of pancakes

I cannot sleep with underwear on. Or socks. Even if my feet are freezing, I kick off my socks. They are annoying! At any time, you can lift up the covers at the foot of my bed and see a nice collection of socks.

I hate seeing whiskers in the sink. It gives me the willies.

I read magazines backwards. No idea why.

My house swallows clip boards. And scissors. I think I have bought 3,000 pairs of kids scissors in the past 8 years. I can find one.

I hate when you register for a website and then a box pops up that says “your password must be between 6-47 characters, contain letters and numbers, is case sensitive and will self destruct in 12.2 years” Why can’t you tell me that right there where I am expected to pick the password! In that case I would have chosen my old standby: YouRanobnoXious4headedAlienwebSite on my first try.

My husband cannot say “you’re da bomb” without saying “dot com” after it. It’s not so cute after a while.

I hate getting out of the shower. Hate it! Sometimes I actually delay getting into the shower as long as possible so that I do not have get to the dreaded moment when I have to get out.

I saw this on a church this week “Body piercing saved lives”. Love it!

I do not like to use the handicapped stalls in the public bathrooms. I just don’t want to be THAT person who held up the stall while someone in a wheel chair waited outside the door. Although some might argue they should wait in line like the rest of us poor souls, I just don’t like doing it. So the dilemma comes when I am in line and it opens up. Do I step aside as if you say to the person behind me “I will not take the handicap stall but if YOU want to be the jerk that does, be my guest”? Truth be told, when my kids were younger and I drove a stroller the size of a pony, I used that sucker every time I had the chance. I would even park in there for a while just to get some quiet time at Disneyland. What’s a mom to do?

What’s up with Target? They are out of everything right now! They did not have my lipstick, pushpins, dog food, “vitamins” OR rice cakes. So I bought exactly nail polish. On another note, message to Target employees: when someone is looking at laxatives, don’t ask them if they need help finding anything. They don’t want to discuss this with you. The same goes for hemorrhoid cream, condoms and tampons. Some things are private!