Cha...cha...cha...cha...changes

I used to crave change. After graduating high school, I changed schools, boyfriends, jobs and residences about every year. I was not settled. I always wanted to go somewhere else and start a new adventure. Then I met my husband. I knew very early on that the changes I would be making from that point on would be for the better, not for the different. We had a few years of subtle, yet rewarding changes that led us to Huntington Beach. After moving to our home 7 years ago I was very settled. My husband had a stable job, I loved our neighborhood and community, we were making great friends, going to an awesome church, involved in our community, feeling very charitable, life was good. No need for more change. It took one moment to make the life we had created for ourselves to come crashing down on us. It was uncomfortable, it was painful, it was scary. In the past month we have gone through many changes as a family. It has been very unsettling. I suddenly found myself fearing that which I used to desire. Change. I have cried for myself, I have cried for my children, I have cried for my husband. I have been scared, angry, hurt, frustrated, confused and sad. Very very sad. I felt like I was saying the right things "we have faith", "we trust", "we will be OK". I walked the walk and talked the talk but in reality I had a lot of doubt and fear and questions of faith. I never doubted there was a plan for us. I just wanted to know what it would be and when it would start! The problem is, I neglected to recognize that there were many things that had led us to that one moment of change. It had been coming for a long time...we weren't really happy...we were just comfortable...doing what we had to for our family. But we weren't really doing anything for a purpose beyond our own daily survival. All our efforts, all the long hours, all the missed opportunity for family time, all the holidays spent apart, all the late nights, all the loneliness were for nothing more than paying the bills. So much was wrong...we just didn't want to admit it, because we both feared change. So change was thrust upon us. In several different ways. And today I sit here grateful for that change. Tomorrow we start a new adventure. An adventure that ties us to our community even more, that allows us more opportunities to be together as a family, creates more opportunities to foster friendships and spiritual relationships that have meaning, and purpose. And tonight, I watched my husband excited to go to work for the first time in 9 years. I have no regrets. The path we took to get here was blessed beyond measure. And now that we have arrived, I feel more blessed than ever! It does not take an expensive car, a hefty 401K, a college fund to make me feel complete. For me, truly living, is being surrounded with good people, having a happy husband, nurturing my children and and having meaningful relationships. I am so grateful to have a meaningful relationship with Jesus. I am grateful for my husband. I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for change. It is because of change that I have been led to this amazing life. There will be other bumps in the road, but I will face them with more confidence and less fear because ultimately, change is moving us in the right direction.