Cha...cha...cha...cha...changes

I used to crave change. After graduating high school, I changed schools, boyfriends, jobs and residences about every year. I was not settled. I always wanted to go somewhere else and start a new adventure. Then I met my husband. I knew very early on that the changes I would be making from that point on would be for the better, not for the different. We had a few years of subtle, yet rewarding changes that led us to Huntington Beach. After moving to our home 7 years ago I was very settled. My husband had a stable job, I loved our neighborhood and community, we were making great friends, going to an awesome church, involved in our community, feeling very charitable, life was good. No need for more change. It took one moment to make the life we had created for ourselves to come crashing down on us. It was uncomfortable, it was painful, it was scary. In the past month we have gone through many changes as a family. It has been very unsettling. I suddenly found myself fearing that which I used to desire. Change. I have cried for myself, I have cried for my children, I have cried for my husband. I have been scared, angry, hurt, frustrated, confused and sad. Very very sad. I felt like I was saying the right things "we have faith", "we trust", "we will be OK". I walked the walk and talked the talk but in reality I had a lot of doubt and fear and questions of faith. I never doubted there was a plan for us. I just wanted to know what it would be and when it would start! The problem is, I neglected to recognize that there were many things that had led us to that one moment of change. It had been coming for a long time...we weren't really happy...we were just comfortable...doing what we had to for our family. But we weren't really doing anything for a purpose beyond our own daily survival. All our efforts, all the long hours, all the missed opportunity for family time, all the holidays spent apart, all the late nights, all the loneliness were for nothing more than paying the bills. So much was wrong...we just didn't want to admit it, because we both feared change. So change was thrust upon us. In several different ways. And today I sit here grateful for that change. Tomorrow we start a new adventure. An adventure that ties us to our community even more, that allows us more opportunities to be together as a family, creates more opportunities to foster friendships and spiritual relationships that have meaning, and purpose. And tonight, I watched my husband excited to go to work for the first time in 9 years. I have no regrets. The path we took to get here was blessed beyond measure. And now that we have arrived, I feel more blessed than ever! It does not take an expensive car, a hefty 401K, a college fund to make me feel complete. For me, truly living, is being surrounded with good people, having a happy husband, nurturing my children and and having meaningful relationships. I am so grateful to have a meaningful relationship with Jesus. I am grateful for my husband. I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for change. It is because of change that I have been led to this amazing life. There will be other bumps in the road, but I will face them with more confidence and less fear because ultimately, change is moving us in the right direction.

Love Songs From Jesus

Last week I was having one of the worst weeks of my adult life. Details aren't important. Just know that this solid as a rock girl was crying every day, several times. More times than I can count actually. I was a mess emotionally, physically, spiritually. On Friday morning I was driving to work in the pouring rain. There were accidents everywhere. I had a few scary moments myself. It didn't help that I was crying...again. I turned up the radio to drown out the sound of my ridiculous sobs. As I did, "Jesus take the wheel" started. Great...that didn't help. So I started singing along, which made me cry more and then told myself to stop. Stop crying, stop trying, stop hurting and just let Jesus take control. Easier said than done but I really needed to hear that song at that moment. I tried to compose myself as the song was ending because I was almost at school. The next song was "Heaven Let Your Light Shine Down". WOW! I was blasting this song as I pulled up to school. As I did, I was greeted by the most amazing rainbow right on top of one of the buildings. It was hard to capture on my phone but I tried. I just wanted to remember that moment, that when I stop, let Jesus be in control, and live life with more faith, heaven will indeed shine its light on me. I am trying to remember those five important minutes in my life right now. Each day, when I feel the urge to cry, I think back to Jesus sending me those two love songs right when I needed them.

Feed Me!

FYI-I can binge eat better than anyone I know. And probably better than anyone you know too!

The Dark Side of DIsco Mommy!

I love that my brother thinks that by threatening to send me a picture of his bare rear I will stop harassing him via text. He doesn't know me at all! Game on! I have ALL night to text o'brother of mine!

Falsetto, Flowers and Paper Bags

I recently heard someone say "There is something for everyone in every church service, but everything might not be for you". For me, I dread the "Shake and Howdy". To me it feels forced. I love being friendly and joyful to strangers as I go through my daily routine. I always ask the cashiers at the stores how they are doing and try to spread the joy! But this portion of our church service just isn't for me. That's OK...I do it anyway. Today was the first day I was excited for the Shake and Howdy. All through the worship songs I was waiting for the moment when I could turn around and meet the woman with the extremely loud, off key falsetto, singing right into my ear! When the moment came, I quickly turned around with a smile on my face...and it was...a...MAN! A young man...in his 30's...who looked more like a wanna-be body builder than a wanna-be opera singer! HUH?! Where was she? Who was she? Either this man had been cursed with this strange voice or the voice was coming from someone sitting in the row behind him which means she was singing even louder than I thought! I was so disappointed.

So the sermon starts. I enjoyed it. My heart was moved. So was my belly. By about half way through I was feeling nauseous. There was a horrible smell. HORRIBLE! It was the most disgusting perfume I have ever experienced. I am painfully allergic to any flowery scented perfume and I could not bear this one. It was strong. It was wrong. My eyes were watering, my ears were ringing, my stomach was churning. I wanted to vomit. And just like the first day I stepped foot into FCC, the Pastor seemed to know exactly what I would need that day. Imagine my relief when he told us to pull the paper bag out of our programs. This was a gift for me! My own personal air sick bag just at the right time! I was tremendously relieved. He does provide!

By the way, I love that my mystery friend was making a "joyful noise"! It's awesome!

Vacation Is Over

I know it is time for vacation to end when my kids get diarrhea from all the crap they have been eating. They are seriously going to detox from sugar tomorrow. It is going to be ugly.

Yep...I'm Hairy!

I have always known I am hairy. I'm Italian...I wear it with pride. Today I went to take care of the craziness that is my eyebrows and upper lip. The lady offered me a special price, $5 extra to wax my chin while she was at it. I declined. Surely I don't need that. It's just an up sell. When I left, I looked in the rear view mirror and spotted the most ridiculously long hair growing out of my chin. How did she make that grow there?!?! Aging sucks!

By the way...I had to look at some disgusting pictures for this post. I will never be the same.

Overwhelmed

I haven’t even finished putting away my Christmas decorations and I am already being solicited for summer camps for my kids. SLOW DOWN WORLD!

Reality Check

When girls in their 20’s get implants, they forget to consider how ridiculous they will look when they are in their 70’s. I do not think old ladies should wear a bikini, especially if they have had implants. It’s just wrong!!