I don't get that Home Sweet Home feeling about going back to where I grew up. This is an arial shot of my High School. 
It is in a beautiful town nestled in the Foothills. I am heading there tomorrow to watch my nephews play football and then go swimming at my Dad's Country Club. Just saying that makes me cringe. I am not a Country Club person. It is not my style. I am so out of place in this town. I don't get nostalgic when I return, mostly I just feel lonely. Lonely because that is how I felt living there. Maybe I will go deep into why sometime. It has to do with the contradictions that were my childhood.
My friends lived in houses like this...I did not.
My friends families looked like this...mine did not.
My friends drove cars like this...I did not.
I didn't fit in then, and I don't fit in now. For some reason this stupid town still makes me feel like a loser! I am not saying I had a bad childhood. My childhood was colorful, amusing and at times fun! But it was very lonely to go 12 years through school in a small town feeling like an outsider. I was always totally and completely different. Maybe I will explore it someday. For tonight let's just say, I am not looking forward to tomorrow...and it's not just because I hate football!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Is Home Really Sweet?
Posted by discomommy at 11:19 PM
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2 comments:
I'm sorry to hear that Gina... It sucks to feel alone - especially when that loneliness invades the place where you're never supposed to feel alone: home.
Feeling like you don't belong is such a gross feeling - but I hope you don't feel it anymore. You belong here - and I am very glad that you are here!
I feel the same way about my high school experiences. Billy always waxes nostalgic about his days, but I'd rather not return there! Take care Gina and know that we love you and accept you for all your marvelous traits (singer, dancer, partier, awesome mom, etc...)
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