My Aching Heart

There are times when your child takes a step into the future that really tug on your heart. First Christmas, first word, first step, first day of Kindergarten, first lost tooth…

Lately I have found myself choked up by the smaller things. The things that I never even realized mattered so much to me.

My children brush their own teeth. We no longer sing the Raffi “Brush Your Teeth” song every night.

My children can plug can plug things in and legitimately understand the dangers of sticking anything else in the plug. No more outlet covers in our house.

My children can make their own breakfast. The selection is limited to cereal, toast or waffles with juice or milk but they can do it!

My children can put away their own laundry.

I no longer have a use for a double stroller. Or a car seat.

My children can open the garage door, call their friends on the phone and find something to watch on TV without my help.

My children can read.

My children can wipe their own tushies.

We don’t use training wheels.

My children understand saving their money and can budget to buy something for themselves.

My children can open a game, read the directions, set it up and play together without ever needing me.

My children can feed the dogs, walking sticks, caterpillars, silk worms and water their plants.

My children can put on their own sunscreen.

My children say words like sweet, awesome, cool, dude and my least favorites, butt and fart.

My son put a note on his door that says “please knock”

My daughter doesn’t want to play sports, just dance dance dance.

My children can get their own snacks, put on their shoes and socks and brush their own hair.

My children take showers, not baths, and no longer need me to wash them. Or their hair.

We’ve had “the talk” with my son.

My children can swim.

My children can make their beds and clean their rooms.

My children have their own library cards.

My children sleep through the night.

My children can tell time.

My daughter wants to paint her toenails and wear lip gloss every day. I won't let her.

My children Pray.

These are some of the things that make me stop and wonder where the time has gone. I can remember the moment I found out I was pregnant with both. I remember the moment I told my husband. I remember the song that was playing when each was born. I remember our first nights together. I can remember every birthday and Christmas. I can remember import milestones along the way, yet the details of the hundreds of days in between have somehow blurred together. I know there are many, many reason my children still need me. It just seems that each day they need me a little bit less.

Raising children is bitter sweet.